Divorce with children is exceptionally difficult. No matter how smooth the process, your children will suffer sadness, loss, and heartbreak during this time. As a newly single mother going through a divorce or recently divorced from the father of your children, this invaluable advice is designed to help you navigate this new path in your life.
Create A Budget
One of the most important things you must do as a newly single mother is creating a budget of your own. Your old family budget will no longer suffice, and your job is to make financial sense of your new life. This small act helps you minimize your stress as a newly single mother.
Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
You’re now a single mother, and you need to remember self-care is important. When the kids are with their father, spend time taking care of yourself. Start a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Spend time with your own friends and family. Take this time to do things that make you happy and fulfill you. When you do this, you are a much more relaxed and happier mother to your kids when they return.
Whether your divorce was amicable or you never want to see your ex again, you must respect him. Your kids didn’t divorce him, after all. They are part of him, too, and hearing you say negative things about him can make their adjustment period more difficult. It’s important you never say anything negative about their father, what they do when they are with him, or anything that might make them feel as if they cannot speak with you about their new life.
Learn to Co-Parent
Part of the problem with divorce when kids are involved is the co-parenting aspect. You might not like it, but it’s imperative you learn to communicate effectively and take care of your children as a team. There will be many events in your life in which you will both want to be present in the same room to support your kids, and it’s time to learn to do that without animosity, anger, and awkwardness.
Give Yourself Time
Nothing you’re doing as a newly divorced single mother is going to feel easy or comfortable or natural right away. It will take time to learn how to perfect your new role in life, but it will happen. Be patient, and give yourself grace. It all gets easier over time, but you must remember to give yourself that time.
Divorcing a man who gave you children is difficult. It is helpful if you both sit down and discuss this new role in your lives and how it pertains to your kids. If you can manage to stay on the same page when it comes to them, you make the entire situation easier and more manageable. It’s not easy, but it will eventually become second nature.