Ensuring Your Children Will Be OK After Your Divorce
Divorces can be upsetting for children, but it's possible to create the best possible outcome for everyone involved. To set your kids' fears and worries at ease, consider the advice below.
Maintain Open Communication
Allow your child to express their concerns without dismissing their feelings or forcing them to look on the bright side. While divorce can be beneficial to everyone involved, it's still upsetting for a child to see their family split apart. It raises a lot of unknowns for a child. When a child is comfortable expressing their feelings, it can help with their healing process. Allow them to speak, mirror back what you heard, and let them know you'll always be there if they want to talk.
There are times when communication is not enough. In this case, explore a variety of therapy groups. Your child might benefit from talking to a therapist or a group of their peers who are facing the same struggles. Make sure your child feels comfortable with therapy. They might be nervous at first but this is normal. If you don't see improvement after a few months, you might want to consider getting help from a different therapist or group.
Kids tend to want to rescue their parents, but this is too much pressure for kids to take on. It's good to be transparent with your kids, but you don't want to burden them with grownup concerns too. Share your feelings, mention that you're having a tough time, but don't do it in such a way as to cause panic. It's one thing to say you have a lot of work to do and another saying you don't know how you're going to pay for all of your bills.
Introducing a Future Stepparent
It can be hard to accept someone new in the family. This is especially true for kids because it looks like one parent is replacing the other one. It's important that everyone is civil with one another. Before getting remarried, it's a good idea to let kids spend time with their future stepparent to allow for bonding. A stepdad may have different qualities than the child's dad, which can add enriching experiences in the child's life.
In time, your kids will come to see that divorce was the best possible solution even if they don't like it at first. Just be patient with your child and allow them to deal with the divorce in their own time.