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Divorcing with Children: How to Help Them Cope


When you have children, divorce does not just involve two individuals, it affects the whole family. While you and your ex may agree that dissolving your marriage is necessary, it may be difficult for your kids to understand that. What they considered a constant is now shifting. How you explain the split to them and taking the time to help them cope can have positive affects in salvaging relationships.

If parents fail to explain to their kids the reasoning behind their decision to end their marriage, children often internalize the conflict, believing the situation is their fault. This can cause them to act out in school, adversely affect their moods, and put stress on them. To help you and your family through this process, we offer you some tips on how to help your children.

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce

Do Not Make Your Kids Choose Sides
Your children may not understand why their parents are divorcing. They may believe that they have to choose one parent over the other. Reassure them that this is not the case. Do not speak negatively about your ex in front of the children. Rather, present a united front.

Open the Lines of Communication
Your children may be confused during this time and have many questions. Answer their queries as honestly as possible, explaining what they can expect for the future. Encourage your children to voice their concerns and express any fears of doubts they may have.

Maintain Routines and Activities
Your children will have a lot to process with the impending divorce. To help them cope with the changes, it is important to maintain some semblance of normalcy. Keep a schedule that they’re used to. Allow them to continue the activities they enjoy. You want to minimize further disruption to their lives.

Give Your Kids Time and Space
Divorce is a big change. Allow your children time and space to come to terms with the news. While you may want them to immediately understand, they may need time. Give them the space to reflect on their current situation and let them know you are there if they need you.

At Chung & Ignacio, we understand how difficult divorce can be for a family. That is why we try to minimize the conflict. Contact our Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorneys for legal counsel. We offer free consultations.