Some of the more difficult matters to attend to during the divorce process
are child custody and visitation schedules. After all, during the marriage,
you most likely spent every day with your children. Now, the prospect
of them not being around as much can be difficult to cope with or consider.
Luckily, there are plenty of opportunities for visitation and time that
you get to see your children, even when custody is split or you only have
visitation rights. This is especially true when the children have various
activities such as sporting events, school functions, competitions, or
any other get together.
When you and your former spouse are on good terms, these events are easy
to attend and you can get along just fine. What happens, though, when
you and your ex-spouse are not getting along or you have been having a
difficult time agreeing on factors with the children? These situations
can be a bit more difficult, but it shouldn’t ruin either parent’s
time spent with the children and how they get to enjoy watching their
children perform an activity or do something they enjoy. Here are some
tips that you and your ex-spouse can utilize to help make these times
easier and more enjoyable for all involved.
Work Out a Schedule
Perhaps you want to take the children out to eat after the activity. Or
maybe you and your ex-spouse can’t agree on who will take the children
to the activity or take them home afterward, so you argue at the event.
Remember, there is a time and place for arguing. Make sure you put together
a plan and schedule so you know what to expect and are not trying to figure
things out in front of the children. This will save them from a stressful
situation they shouldn’t endure.
Put Aside Your Differences
Many times, children’s activities can last hours and you are going
to be in the same area as your ex-spouse. It’s best if for this
time you can put aside any differences you may have with your spouse so
you’re not causing problems in front of your children. Remember
what this time is about: the children. Let them have your focus and don’t
worry about your ex-spouse being there too. At the end of the day, the
more time you spend on your children, the better these events will be
and the better the relationship can become because you’re not focused
Alternate Time at Events
For parents who cannot get along, sometimes the best option is to alternate
events so you’re not together. For instance, if the non-custodial
parent gets custody every other weekend and an event falls during this
time, the non-custodial parent will attend the event. This works when
the custodial parent has the children on a weekend when an event occurs.
Alternating events should be a worst case scenario if the parents are
not able to work out an agreement or work together to put aside their
differences and attend the events together. At the end of the day, both
parents peacefully attending the events is the best option.
At Chung & Ignacio, our
Rancho Cucamonga child custody attorneys are well aware of the difficult situation when children are part of a
divorce. We know that these matters can be contentious, causing the parents
to argue and attack one another. When all is said and done, this can do
more harm to the children than anyone else. It is important for parents
to have a clear parenting plan they can rely on to help with situations
such as attending children’s events. Don’t let your feelings
for each other harm the children.
If you need help with a parenting plan, we encourage you to
call us today and learn how we can help.